Baby Love - 23 Weeks
To anyone who has ever been pregnant before - ever wonder if people look at you and just think you're fat? Since I have yet to fill out the maternity clothes my mom and I got in October, my wardrobe consists of one pair of loose jeans and some baggy sweaters and sweatshirts. I'm just afraid that if I actually wore something tight, people would mistake me for flaunting the freshman 20 (and really, there's enough of that as it is).
But with all the negative aspects to pregnancy out there, the part I'm really enjoying is feeling little Mr. Peanut kick. It's funny how not that long ago I hadn't felt anything, then all of a sudden, wham! This little guy is kicking field goals in there. It seems like he favors kicking my bladder when I'm sitting, which is not the most pleasant sensation when I'm in class, but hey, I never thought this semester would be easy.
Last night I had a return of crazy pregnancy dreams. I dreamt that I was at the hospital, when my doctor asked if I'd rather have a c-section. For some reason I said yes, and I remember Ian being really bewildered by the whole thing. The next thing I knew I was lying on a table, unable to move from the neck down, and thinking "wait, isn't this a bit early to be having the baby?", since I was at 23 weeks still. Now, I know that modern medicine has allowed babies born at this stage to survive, which is quite amazing, but I couldn't figure out why my baby needed to be born. I woke up feeling a little disturbed, but also sad that I didn't get to meet him.
I can't believe how far this pregnancy has come in the last weeks. I've really gone from just feeling uncomfortable to really feeling like there is an end to all this (not that I don't still feel uncomfortable), and I can't wait to see my little boy. It's so real for me that I can almost feel him in my arms and smell his little head with soft downy hair. I can even imagine loving him as much as I already love Emily - and it was pretty hard to picture that happening at all just a few months ago.
But with all the negative aspects to pregnancy out there, the part I'm really enjoying is feeling little Mr. Peanut kick. It's funny how not that long ago I hadn't felt anything, then all of a sudden, wham! This little guy is kicking field goals in there. It seems like he favors kicking my bladder when I'm sitting, which is not the most pleasant sensation when I'm in class, but hey, I never thought this semester would be easy.
Last night I had a return of crazy pregnancy dreams. I dreamt that I was at the hospital, when my doctor asked if I'd rather have a c-section. For some reason I said yes, and I remember Ian being really bewildered by the whole thing. The next thing I knew I was lying on a table, unable to move from the neck down, and thinking "wait, isn't this a bit early to be having the baby?", since I was at 23 weeks still. Now, I know that modern medicine has allowed babies born at this stage to survive, which is quite amazing, but I couldn't figure out why my baby needed to be born. I woke up feeling a little disturbed, but also sad that I didn't get to meet him.
I can't believe how far this pregnancy has come in the last weeks. I've really gone from just feeling uncomfortable to really feeling like there is an end to all this (not that I don't still feel uncomfortable), and I can't wait to see my little boy. It's so real for me that I can almost feel him in my arms and smell his little head with soft downy hair. I can even imagine loving him as much as I already love Emily - and it was pretty hard to picture that happening at all just a few months ago.
posted by Kate at 2:53 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home