Sitting, Waiting, Wishing - 39 Weeks
How is it that just days ago when I wrote that last entry I was able to sound so optimistic? Maybe it was all the good feelings leftover from graduation, but at this point I don't think I can stand being pregnant one second longer. I decided to write this in hope that I won't have a chance to write on being pregnant on Friday - D-day.
All signs point to labor - intensifying Braxton-Hicks contractions, cramps, bachache - but everytime the contractions pick up and start to become regular, they stop again. I feel like an old car that will turn over when you put the key in, but won't actually start.
Last night as we were dozing off, contractions started coming every 20 minutes or so, and I really thought it might be it - so I laid there and watched the clock for hours, waking Ian everytime I had another one. Finally I fell asleep, figuring that if it really was labor, I better get some rest while I still could, then woke up at 3am with horrible stomach pain and vomiting. I continued to have some contractions, but compared to the stomach ache, were pretty mild. Not a good sign of impending labor. I'm still having terrible back pain, and Ian was very sweet and rubbed my back at 4am, but unfortunately he wasn't too pleased to head off to work this morning, exhausted, with me not having any significant contractions.
On Monday I had a doctor appointment and thanks to my blood pressure - which has been higher lately since I've been seeing different doctors at the practice - they'd like to induce me next Monday if I haven't gone into labor myself by that point. The doctor was trying to suggest it gently, leaving the decision mostly up to me, but the idea of knowing there is an end point was just too enticing, so I said yes. I can always change my mind, but it's comforting to know that it doesn't have to just go on indefinitely. I also had to do a non-stress test at the hospital, which actually was kind of cool. I got all set up in one of the rooms, hooked up to the monitors and I was able to see a fairly large contraction on the graph. The baby is still doing fine, which I knew anyway, but you know I was thinking maybe while I was on the monitors they would figure out that I was in labor, but my tolerance for pain was so high that I just didn't notice! Right. Well, at that point I was still optimistic.
My biggest fear is that with all these false-starts, when it really is the real thing, I'll miss it. Or worse - Ian won't believe me. I'm tempted to keep the signs and symptoms to myself to spare those around me - my mom is in town visiting as well, so she's just as anxious - but I guess there's nothing I can do but be patient - and walk, which I'll be doing a lot of.
All signs point to labor - intensifying Braxton-Hicks contractions, cramps, bachache - but everytime the contractions pick up and start to become regular, they stop again. I feel like an old car that will turn over when you put the key in, but won't actually start.
Last night as we were dozing off, contractions started coming every 20 minutes or so, and I really thought it might be it - so I laid there and watched the clock for hours, waking Ian everytime I had another one. Finally I fell asleep, figuring that if it really was labor, I better get some rest while I still could, then woke up at 3am with horrible stomach pain and vomiting. I continued to have some contractions, but compared to the stomach ache, were pretty mild. Not a good sign of impending labor. I'm still having terrible back pain, and Ian was very sweet and rubbed my back at 4am, but unfortunately he wasn't too pleased to head off to work this morning, exhausted, with me not having any significant contractions.
On Monday I had a doctor appointment and thanks to my blood pressure - which has been higher lately since I've been seeing different doctors at the practice - they'd like to induce me next Monday if I haven't gone into labor myself by that point. The doctor was trying to suggest it gently, leaving the decision mostly up to me, but the idea of knowing there is an end point was just too enticing, so I said yes. I can always change my mind, but it's comforting to know that it doesn't have to just go on indefinitely. I also had to do a non-stress test at the hospital, which actually was kind of cool. I got all set up in one of the rooms, hooked up to the monitors and I was able to see a fairly large contraction on the graph. The baby is still doing fine, which I knew anyway, but you know I was thinking maybe while I was on the monitors they would figure out that I was in labor, but my tolerance for pain was so high that I just didn't notice! Right. Well, at that point I was still optimistic.
My biggest fear is that with all these false-starts, when it really is the real thing, I'll miss it. Or worse - Ian won't believe me. I'm tempted to keep the signs and symptoms to myself to spare those around me - my mom is in town visiting as well, so she's just as anxious - but I guess there's nothing I can do but be patient - and walk, which I'll be doing a lot of.
posted by Kate at 9:22 AM
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